[side notes]

So, it is a fairly well-known fact that humans fear death. To elaborate, I'll be citing Wikipedia (my favorite!):

" Psychologists have addressed the hypothesis that fear of death motivates religious commitment, and that it may be alleviated by assurances about an afterlife. Empirical research on this topic has been equivocal. According to Kahoe and Dunn, people who are most firm in their faith and attend religious services weekly are the least afraid of dying. People who hold a loose religious faith are the most anxious, and people who are not religious are intermediate in their fear of death. A survey of people in various Christian denominations showed a positive correlation between fear of death and dogmatic adherence to religious doctrine. In other words, Christian fundamentalism and other strict interpretations of the Bible are associated with greater fear of death. Furthermore, some religious orientations were more effective than others in allaying that fear.^[9]

In another study, data from a sample of white, Christian men and women were used to test the hypothesis that traditional, church-centered religiousness and de-institutionalized spiritual seeking are distinct ways of approaching fear of death in old age. Both religiousness and spirituality were related to positive psychosocial functioning, but only church-centered religiousness protected subjects against the fear of death.^[10]

Fear of death is also known as death anxiety. This may be a more accurate label because, like other anxieties, the emotional state in question is long lasting and not typically linked to a specific stimulus. The analysis of fear of death, death anxiety, and concerns over mortality is an important feature of existentialism and terror management theory. "

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear#Fear_and_death

Now, I would argue that the fear of death referred to applies not only to death (although, obviously that is our biggest fear), but also to the end of all good things.
This trip has been, for me, one of the biggest times of growth in my life, ever. I honestly cannot think of any other time in my life when I have changed so much in such a short span of time. It would be natural, then, for me to fear the end. I fear having to go home, to return to society, to return to morbidly obese, self-obsessed, Midwest America (I have so much pride for my country!). It just doesn't sound too appealing. I feel like while I've been here, everything is so surreal. It's like I don't live in reality anymore, I'm just stuck in this semi-virtual-reality-do-whatever-you-want-This-is-Africa world thing. Ultimately, I think that my greatest fear is returning to the real world, where I have real classes, and real money, and a real life. Doesn't sound so great, does it? In addition, we all have a fear of the unknown, and my life after this is pretty unknown. How am I going to reintegrate into society? How will this fit into my relationship? Who am I going to hang out with now? Clearly, I have more questions than answers.
So, I'm talking to my friend Suzy (one of the spring semester students who decided to stay during the summer; I'm currently sleeping in her old bed), and I'm telling her how sad it is that I have to leave. Not only sad, but frustrating. There's still so much I want to do! There's still so much I want to see and learn and experience. But there's just no time. So, instead of encouraging my tragedy, she gives me some of the best advice I've ever heard. She says (and this is paraphrased), "Don't be sad that you have to leave, just be thankful that you got the opportunity to come and live in this amazing place. Not many people get that change." Now, that may seem way too cheerful for my attitude, but I actually took it to heart (obviously, I'm writing about it right now). For some reason, this advice has really stuck with me and I've actually managed to apply it to other parts of my life. So, I'm not really sure where this is going, I just thought I'd share that gem with you all. Don't worry, I'm not suddenly going to turn into Little Miss Sunshine over here (although I do love that movie!), I'm just saying maybe it's time for a bit of a fresh perspective.

Sincerely,

Jason